“Eating and sleeping over washing and cleaning”: when you have to function in the middle of an AuDHD burnout.
Summary
When experiencing chronic burnout, prioritizing the absolute basics—such as eating and sleeping before household tasks—can provide essential support. Simple micro-adjustments, like breaking tasks into manageable steps, using a timer instead of a to-do list, and ensuring hydration, can help restore a sense of agency and make functioning more possible, even in overwhelming moments.
A white coffee cup on a brown table, in sunlight and shade, the same colour as the coffee inside it.
Eating and sleeping before washing and cleaning—this simple yet profound piece of advice was once said to be my a supervisor, and has served as an anchor in times of chronic burnout when it has been nonetheless necessary to function.
In moments of overwhelming responsibility, when juggling work, caregiving, advocacy, education, and daily life, even the most basic tasks can feel insurmountable. Throw in the state of the world and democracy too and getting out of bed can be a real struggle.
This is especially true for those of us navigating life as AuDHDers or with cPTSD, where burnout is not just about exhaustion but a complete system shutdown. When what feel like an inordinate number of stressors coalesce, it can be hard for me to speak, remember things, plan and prepare meals, think clearly, talk on the phone or send a text. Managing work meetings or university can necessitate hours of recovery in a dark room (hours I do not have).
Lived experience practitioners (LEPs) such as Dr. Alice Nicholls emphasise the importance of understanding autistic burnout as a unique phenomenon which has particular physical, cognitive, emotional, executive functioning, social and sensory aspects. As well as the above it might be more tiring to mask. You might feel intense discomfort or overwhelmed by stress. Sensory inputs may feel more intolerable than usual or there may be new sensory stressors. You might have more shutdowns or meltdowns with more recovery required.
You can check your own level of autistic or AuDHD burnout here or here.
There is a growing recognition that autistic burnout is distinct from both depression and occupational burnout. Raymaker et al. (2020) define autistic burnout as:
resulting from chronic life stress and a mismatch of expectations and abilities without adequate supports... characterized by pervasive long-term (typically 3+ months) exhaustion, loss of function, and reduced tolerance to stimulus.
The research on AuDHD and autistic burnout is informed by interdisciplinary perspectives, including that of Critical Disability Studies (CDS). While CDS provides an invaluable framework for understanding disability beyond the medical model—focusing on systemic barriers rather than individual deficits—it does not on its own offer immediate solutions for those in crisis. Recognising structural inequities and unlearning and replacing internalised ableism with kindness are essential. But what helps with the actions of getting out of bed, preparing meals, or responding to emails required in the moment?
When functioning becomes nearly impossible, returning to the absolute basics can be the key to regaining a sense of agency.
Simple reminders and micro-adjustments can provide the necessary scaffolding to navigate through the most challenging moments:
Prioritize eating and sleeping over household tasks. Basic needs come first.
Write down tasks and check them off. Not an overwhelming to-do list, but small, achievable actions: "Take cup to kitchen" (Tick). "Put coffee cup in dishwasher" (Tick).
Sit up before standing up. Breaking movement into smaller steps can make it more manageable.
Drink a glass of water (or something tolerable). Hydration matters, even if it's just a few sips of something tolerable.
Open a window or step outside for a minute. Light and fresh air can help our brain and body.
Use a timer instead of a to-do list. "Five minutes of dishes" is easier to approach than "clean the kitchen."
In moments of extreme burnout, the goal is not peak productivity but survival with as much ease as possible. Stripping tasks down to their simplest forms can make them feel less impossible. Functioning in these times is not about thriving; it's about doing just enough to get through to the next moment.
And that is more than enough.
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Arnold SR, Higgins JM, Weise J, Desai A, Pellicano E, Trollor JN. Confirming the nature of autistic burnout. Autism. 2023 Oct;27(7):1906-1918. doi: 10.1177/13623613221147410. Epub 2023 Jan 13. PMID: 36637293.
Dinishak J, Akhtar N. Integrating autistic perspectives into autism science: A role for autistic autobiographies. Autism. 2023 Apr;27(3):578-587. doi: 10.1177/13623613221123731. Epub 2022 Sep 8. PMID: 36081352.
Raymaker DM, Teo AR, Steckler NA, Lentz B, Scharer M, Delos Santos A, Kapp SK, Hunter M, Joyce A, Nicolaidis C. "Having All of Your Internal Resources Exhausted Beyond Measure and Being Left with No Clean-Up Crew": Defining Autistic Burnout. Autism Adulthood. 2020 Jun 1;2(2):132-143. doi: 10.1089/aut.2019.0079. Epub 2020 Jun 10. PMID: 32851204; PMCID: PMC7313636.
